Fear not, Elise Testone fans. She may have finally reached the end of
her
American Idol journey, but you'll be able to catch her again on the Idols
Live tour, which kicks off July 6 at Detroit's Joe Louis Arena.
Elise was part of an all-female Bottom Three Thursday that also included
Hollie Cavanagh and Skylar Laine, making only her second trip there.
The four safe Idols have surrounded Hollie and Elise, the two in danger of
elimination. But Ryan sends them back to the couches. Hollie and Elise have to
face the music by themselves.
After 58 million votes and several trips to the Bottom Three, Elise Testone
finally reaches the end of her American Idoljourney. She says goodbye with a
reprise of the song that probably kept her in the show a few extra weeks: Led
Zeppelin'sWhole Lotta Love.
Elise Testone seems much more comfortable in the classic rock iteration of
Idol than she has in recent weeks and the judges love her version of "I Want it
All." Elise admits Idol has helped her realize that rock is her milieu, so I
guess she'll give up singing in the barbershop quartet now.
Phillip Phillips is singing "Fat Bottomed Girls," but when he mouths the
titular lyrics he looks more than slightly embarrassed about so publicly
declaring his love for the big-arsed ladies. Maybe that's why the vein in his
forehead looks extra poppy. Regardless of his humiliation, his guitar-free
Southern rock version of the song is well done. Steven Tyler says that he likes
watching Phil-Phil run out of breath, which is a weird thing to say, but for the
fact that it's Steven who said it.
There is no excuse for the wardrobe department's decision to dress Hollie
like a mini-me Celine Dion doing a turn on a holiday telethon, and yet there she
is in a red satin pant suit with oversized estate jewelry. Also, Hollie singing
"Save Me" sounds like a desperate and craven plea for votes. The judges don't
even bother critiquing her, because she is critic-proof, like a bad restaurant
that is always crowded. Not that she's bad, she's just so darn boring. Jennifer
begs her to have a good time on stage, because people are watching and OH GOD
SMILE ALREADY.
Buy a round for the house, because Fox still has a gaping hole in their
prime-time programming and needs to kill time, so we get another round of songs
by the Idol finalists. Yay?
Jessica curries some votes by saying that her father is a soldier and is
about to be deployed to Singapore, but that doesn't matter. He's a
soldier, he fought for his country, and she deserves your votes. She dedicates
"Dance With My Father" to her father, because it never hurts to be as literal as
possible on this show. Luther Vandross was J.Lo's personal friend, but Jennifer
thinks Jessica's version is the best she's ever heard.
Skylar picks up a guitar, finds some extra twang under the couch and sings
a song about drag-racing pickup trucks that I do not recognize, but the Internet
tells me is called "Tattoos on This Town."
Josh Ledet may have a messy room, according to Hollie, but his performance
of "Ready for Love" is downright neat. The judges are on their feet, and Steven
even turns around to encourage the crowd to cheer. Randy claims that he doesn't
even know what to say anymore that Joshua's performance has rendered him
speechless, yet he still manages to ramble on for a solid five minutes.
Between performances the Idol contestants all talk about each other. Well,
mostly Skylar and Hollie talk about the other contestants. It's all good clean
fun, until the slightly mean-spirited critique of Elise Testone, who has
probably had it up to HERE with these whippersnappers. The judges think Elise
screwed up by choosing a slightly obscure Jimi Hendrix song called "Bold as
Love" and she probably did.
Giggling, the girls all admit that Phillip Phillip is cute, until he opens
his mouth to sing and starts twitching and writhing. Phil-Phil doesn't care what
they say – he storms on stage to sing a Dave Matthews song flanked by two women,
one with a sax and one a fiddle. It's a strangely compelling performance for
being Dave Matthews run through a Dave Matthews soundalike. While Steven thinks
it was very entertaining, very off the wall – very Phillip Phillips – J.Lo
thinks he was too outré and artsy for Idol and wishes he would perform some
normal songs, goddammit.
Ryan must be looped out on cold medicine, because he notes that his
girlfriend, Julianna Hough, is backstage, and she thought Phil-Phil was yummy.
Ryan then publicly warns her that they are going to have a serious talk after
the show.
Hollie finally appears on stage dressed in something vaguely
age-appropriate (if Gossip Girl chic is appropriate for a 16-year-old from
Texas) for her performance of "The Climb." The judges give her a standing
ovation because she is confident, holds her tone, and for once doesn't looks
like she is actively dying. This song was strong enough to keep her here another
week.
Tonight's Ford music video: a version of the B.o.B. hit Magic. Afterwards,
the Idols visit the offices of TMZ. They've done their research: Turns out
there's a male strip club in New York called Mantasia, much to Joshua Ledet's
embarrassment. And Jessica Sanchez left a few really silly YouTube videos
online.
Ryan's calling people down in pairs tonight. First up: Jessica and
Elise.Jimmy Iovine says Jessica singing Bohemian Rhapsody was "a plain ol'
mistake." On the other hand, her version of Dance With My Father was
"magnificent." She understood the words and the audience, which should have
given her double the vote, he says.
As for Elise, "I believe she picked the wrong Queen song," a monotone
stadium anthem that came off clubby. And Bold as Love was "a double-down on bad
choice for the night Elise has a problem: She's a great singer, makes bad
choices."
Jessica says she's scared for the both of them. Ryan tells her it's not
looking good for the other five contestants. She's safe; Elise is back in the
Bottom Three.
